Blog Of Each Of These Daze

Dear Sad Little Steelers Fan

2006-08-30T08:13:00.000-05:00

Hello there little boy. I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop wasting my time with your little comments. I can see "as with every other Steeler fan" you have waaaay to much time on your hands. I actually thought 99.9% of them were laughable. BUT you fucked up. You talked about my son, that doesn't work with me. I WILL beat your punk ass down for something like that.

SO therefore I suggest that your pussy ass make it know who you are instead of playing little games by posting anonymous, man up you little bitch!

JOEY PORTER

2006-05-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

ATTENTION JOEY PORTER!!!

You Sir are a fucking BITCH.

P.S. I hate you and your flaming faggetass team. Go fuck yourself you money grubbin bitch.

Just Classic....

2006-05-08T09:32:00.000-05:00

I know your probably tired of hearing about this just a smuch as I am but damn this is a good sign...

How Many Can You Find?

2006-04-27T09:52:00.000-05:00

I guess Virgin had this on there site for a contest, it is really a sweet picture and kinda fun finding all the bands. There are supposed to be 72 bands in the picture. How many can you find?

P.S. Click the Picture to enlarge

I'd Like To Know What You Think

2006-04-26T11:03:00.000-05:00

So me and a few of the guys on the Softball team have been going to a local bar in Lebanon, Ohio called Best Cafe after our games. I would say we spend anywhere from $50-$100 a nightt there easy, not counting the pool table, or the jukebox. We have gotten to know the bartender pretty well and she is pretty cool with us all.

Well this Monday she was there for around an hour or two and her shift was over. Therefore the "owner" took over. After about five minutes he asked if we could "bring our language up from the gutter". Now keep in mind 5-6 guys talking leads to a few F bombs here and there. I got pretty pissed off that he was asking us, being the owner to tone it down.

I didn't thinkl that it was a church, All I know is if he says that shit one more time, our money goes somewhere else. What would you do if you were in our shoes?

Please Check This Out

2006-04-25T08:08:00.000-05:00

Hey all, This post won't be a normal post so I thought I would just let you know right off. HOWEVER it is very important that you would read this for me as it is a truley amazing story.

There is a 7 year old boy that was on my local news station and he has been diagnosed with cancer. And his loving parents are selling his drawings on ebay. If anyone has extra money that they can spare, and would love a priceless piece of artwork, please check out these links below.

Maddox's Story

Maddox's Website

Maddox's Drawings On Ebay

Not Bad

2006-04-18T08:58:00.000-05:00

Our second game of the season was last night. Against the best team in all the leagues combined. We played really well despite losing 8-4. We held them scoreless for 5 straight innings.

I found a new addiction, I ran across this site FOUND MAGAZINE and got hooked, I have never been on the lookout for junk before this I promise. It's a pretty neat idea so make sure to check it out.

My first find is the main picture of this post. Mmmmmm Mushrooms and meat.

I got hosed!!!

2006-04-17T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well I checked the other day, on one of my local news stations here around Cincinnati, and seen that I had won 4 free tickets to Kings Island , for Easter weekend. I was pumped when finding this out Monday.

I checked the mail all week and didnt get shit, no good mail, and now fuckin tickets. I got hosed! I won something and never even got it, what a bummer. I called them today and hopefully they are gonna work it out. That would be sweet.

Oh ya Luda is in the shop :( now I am driving a rental 2006 Malibu. Yea it's totally bullshit.

1-0 Baby!!!!

2006-04-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

Well last nights game went great! We run ruled em. It was a pretty good feeling to pretty much dominate the whole game, and get out with a win. However we didnt get that many swings in wich may hurt us heading into next weeks game against the toughest team in the league.

They went through two pitchers wich both were absolutley horrible, and we ended up just swinging at some bad pitches towards the end just to get some swings in.

On the defensive side of the ball we did on hell of a job, no mental mistakes so that was a total plus. I also did get my first strawberry of the year on a sweet diving catch. I went 1 for 2 with 2 walks, a double and 3 RBI's.

Tonights the night....

2006-04-10T13:46:00.000-05:00

Well tonight is the first night of softball, my opening day so to speak. We had a great practise yesterday, and I think we should have agood team this year. Of course I will no better tomorrow so I'll fill you in.

I am just pumped to get out on the field again, there is nothing better than getting to play ball. I never take it for granted.

How They Get The Lime In Pepsi...

2006-04-07T07:51:00.000-05:00

Interesting..... to say the least.

Yahoo! Mail - The best web-based email!

2006-04-06T09:40:00.000-05:00

I mean has anyone else had problems with Yahoo today? It's being a total bitch about signing on and getting annoying page errors.... Bastards

Big Dicks...

2006-04-06T09:18:00.000-05:00

No not those kind of Dicks, gets your minds out of the gutter, or email me lol. Anyway last night we went out to eat at Ci Ci's Pizza buffet. It was pretty good but packed to the gills, and it made a hard to to get nice hot pizza.

After that we went to get Claydogs Tee Ball stuff. He got a Nike glove, Nike Bat, and Nike cleats, they are all pimp as hell too. He was soo pumped to get the stuff he wanted, trust me the 4 year old has mad expensive taste, but so do I so I can't say too much. I spent ovr $200 last night..... ugh.

Good God

2006-04-03T09:53:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am a pussy. My Balls turned black and blue as fuck, I was off work a week, and my balls are still sore. I think I may have done something wrong. If this shit still feels like this middle of the week, I am making another appointment.

Goodbye Children.....

2006-03-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

Well I opened up my RSS feeds this morning and seen the first thing that caught my eye. Isaac Hayes, will be leaving South Park due to Religous reasons. Sheesh go figure. This means that Chef will probably be no longer.

This really doesn't make me sad, cause I am sure that those guys will make one hell of an episode "knocking" him off I am sure.

Real Men Wear Pink

2006-03-08T08:34:00.000-05:00

Well the wedding didnt go too bad. They both were really happy, and to be honest I think he will turn out to be a decent brother in law. They are in Vegas right now, so I hope they have a great time.

I tore it up on the dance floor, and had one hell of a time.... I only dance when I am trashed so draw your own conclusions lol.

By the way, the meaning of the title goes from me wearing my Pink Polo to work today, yea, I am taking some heat, but I know I look good in it!

My Ballz

2006-02-27T14:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I just wanted to fill you in on me not being around for a few days, I have a monsterous busy as fuck week here at work, and I know I will not have anytime to post for the next few days.

I did got to my orientation for my Vasectomy, and got it scheduled for March 24th...... Wish me luck on that one.

Drunk Guy at a Concert - Funny Video Clip

2006-02-24T10:16:00.000-05:00

Now this is when you have had WAY too much to drink

Check It Out Here www.killsometime.com/vi...

Wedings...... Yuck

2006-02-23T09:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I must say that I am not going to enjoy the next wedding I go to. My sister in law is getting married in the next few weeks and I dont think she needs to marry this character.

The guy is an ass, of course this is just my opinion of him from whjat impressions he has made on me. I actually think she is doing it just cause it seems like the right thing to do, and second he is the first person that ahs asked her. I really dont see it lasting, my main argument, 3 days before they started "dating" she said he was a nerd and didnt like him. Then after "dating" a month they decided to get married ugh....

I might have enjoyed the wedding a tad bit more if they werent so ignorant to get married on a Sunday, I mean WTF I have to go to work the next day, and won't be able to mask my unwillingness to be there with high amounts of beer floating through my bloodstream. Oh well Just another day I suppose.

No Such Thing As Free Lunch? Think Again.

2006-02-22T10:08:00.000-05:00

Wooo Hoo I just got a Golden ticket.... no .. no not to Will Wonka's Chocolate Factory, it's to a free Lunch event at a dealer here at work. I guess the tickets are pretty scarce, and I am the envy of all currently. You know how those guys are about free lunch, it's like gold to them.

Free lunch what could be better?

Dead Or Alive.......

2006-02-22T09:01:00.000-05:00

Well it seems that a few people are actually wondering if I am dead or alive. I am sure to some persons dissapointment I am very much alive. I have been pretty busy with alot of different things as of late and really haven't had too much time to post.

I am trying to get motivated into posting on a daily nature once again, however this wont be easy. I think I have been so damn ignorant in letting this blog "get out of hand" that I have lost some loyal readers in the process. Therefore I would like to take this time to apologize to all of them... You know who you are.

During my time off I celebrated a birthday and the year anniversary of this blog has passed during this time as well.

Last Friday I finally broke Luda from her hibernation period and have been driving her back and forth to work. I also finally purchased the Vanity plates I had wanted ever since she got her nickname. Here they are as I took them this morning before leaving for work.

This picture was taken with the newest toy in my life. My "G" , I guess thats what they are calling it now, I hear it is going to be more popular than the sidekick but who knows. All I know this is the baddest phone I have ever owned and I am absolutley in LOVE with it.
Check it out!

FUCK THE STEELERS!!!

2006-02-03T09:20:00.000-05:00

Warning: HATE POST

Oh how I hate the Shittsburgh Squeelers, I hate them with an awful passion. They are living off a TAINTED Super Bowl Appearance, and I hope they all get a bad cause of the clap. Yes you too Jerome Bettis you fat overgrown sausage patty.

See, I hate Hines Ward, I hate Jerrry Porter. However I never realized how much I hate The Steelers as a whole team until there fans showed how fucking ignorant they are.

Big Ben is from Ohio, so I can't hate toooooo much. However he is getting the cocky ass Shittsburgh attitude so, it couldn't be too far off.

I just want to take this time, o personally Jinx you ignorant fucks and hope that Jerome Bettis , and mister pucker cock sucking lips Cowher have hot ANAL sex after getting there asses handed to them by the HIGHLY underrated Seahawks.

GO SEAHAWKS!!!!!!

Anyone feel this way, or if your a Shittsburg fan, and wanna be ignorant as usual, leave me a comment of what you think.

Oh yah, here is a Picture of Big Ben from last night........

B-I-N-G-O!

2006-02-02T09:08:00.000-05:00

Well last night my Mom called, J and asked if me and her wanted to go to Bingo.

It had been well over a year since we had gone so we figured why the hell not. Well as the say "Hindsight is 20/20" I know now why not. I lost all my damn money.

I mean Me and my Mom even got free cards to play on due to our birthdays. Mine is the 6th, just in case you all wanna get me something *wink*.

The worst part is those damn tickets, them things are addicting as hell. What kills me are these little old ladies hitting on these tickets and then winning 2-3 times on bingo.

Bullshit I say!, when I can't win shit!

My Inbox

2006-01-31T14:02:00.000-05:00

I just got this via email, this is actually the firstr email that I have ever been like, "Man, Thats totally fucked up" But this one did it.

Read and do the instruction at the end, what do you think?

Could such numbers be merely coincidence?

Is 11 the new number of the beast?

1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) George W. Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing into the Twin Towers was flight 11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6 + 5 = 11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11.

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Koran/Quran, the Islamic holy book:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsom eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace."

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still uncovinced about all of this..?!

Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to WINGDINGS

What do you think now..?!

One High Monkey

2006-01-30T14:43:00.000-05:00

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and is going to get a drink from the river.

The lizard climbs down the tree, walks thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey you!"

"Duuuuuuuuuude!" the Monkey says when he looks down. "How much water did you drink?!"

2 Hours Of Labor, And Nothing Completed

2006-01-24T13:48:00.000-05:00

Well, last night my LEDS for my XBOX came in, so I decided to try and finish up the controller port LEDS. Bad choice for my first mod I would say. Good thing is the controller ports still work, the bad.... The LEDS won't light up.

Needless to say, tonight I am troubleshooting them.

Keep Your Fingers To Yourself

2006-01-18T16:01:00.000-05:00

They didnt take it easy on this dumb fu**s, And I am glad for that!

Bloggin Hotties: Bloggin Hottie Of The Day #47

2006-01-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

Best Blog EVER!

Bored As Hell...........

2006-01-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

Been bored as of late, not much going on around the homefront or the office. At least not much other than me being broke as a joke right now. I have some mass bills going out, and tax time is coming so the good ol real estate taxes should be coming soon, ughhhh.

I am going to try and add some LED's to my XBox sometime soon, so maybe ill fiolll you in on how that goes. Hopefully by the time it's done my XBOX will be emiting a large orange glow.

Who knows..............

I'm Back, Yet Again..........Miss Me?

2006-01-12T09:18:00.000-05:00

Well its been a while, and I am sorry. I have been pretty busy as of late with the end of the year bullshit here at work. To say the least it's been f**kin crazy. I did find out that I do NOT have to take on the "New" job that was supposed to take place after the first of the year, and to be honest I am pleased about that.

My new years eve was pretty boring, other than me and David, ended up on a razy ass trip to get my Xbox modded, in order to curve my want for an XBOX 360. It worked and was well worth it. It's sweet as hell, now I have media center on my Xbox. Pretty wild shit If I do say so myself.

Like I said, I apologize for being a shitty blog-buddy lately, but I still love all of you, and I will be surfing through some of your blogs today. I would also like to give a huge thanks to those that have commented in the past few weeks.

I will be posting (Hopefully) some funny jokes and such here shortly.

Video: Funny Photo Booth

2006-01-05T09:13:00.000-05:00

This is a prank Free Photo Botth done by Jay Leno, and it's a classic video showing how far people will go just to get something free.

Click here To View

Look What I Can Do!

2005-12-27T11:33:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Holiday! I would also like to say thanks to those of you that wished me Happy Holidays as well.

Christmas here was great, the kids had a great one, and I am still putting together all the damn toys they got. I'm telling you it is a parents hell around my house right now. The boys also got a new kitty cat, so they are pretty pumped about that.

I have discovered a new obsession, it's MAD TV. If you havent watched this try to catch it once, it is far and above SNL, IMHO. My favorite character is Micheal Mcdonald, and when he plays Stuart I can't get enough.

Anyway, hope everyone is good!

Movies That You Watch For Years

2005-12-15T12:15:00.000-05:00

I would have to say that my alltime favorite Christmas movie is Home Alone, I know its weird but I love that damn movie. The best thing is Clayton loves it too, we have watched over 15 times in the last week.

I have very few movies that I could watch over and over, three to be exact, Home Alone, Drive Me Crazy, and Billy Madison.

Whats your favorite movie?

Christmas Cookie Fun

2005-12-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

Last night my Mom came over and made a ton of christmas cookies with the kids, however I didnt get to be till late and I am dragging some serious ass.

Tomorrow is Clay's christmas play, so I am leaving work early to check that out.

Should be fun.

Video: The best Christmas Lights EVER!

2005-12-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

This video is absolutely amazing. I am "Pretty" sure that this house is actually located about 5 minutes from my work. There was abig write up about the local Sheriffs department having him shut it down due to it causing a wreck. Also it states he is an elictrical engineer, and spent around $10,000 on this.

Click here to view

I made it.....

2005-12-08T08:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I made it through Christmas shopping, but not only that I made it through family pictures. See last night we went to the Mall in Dayton and went to The Picture People with my Mom, Dad, J, Me, and the munchkins for a good ol picture session.

It went pretty well beside the fact the jackasses that made the mall just happened to put af**king merry-go-round right outside the picture place.... Bastards. This then sent my youngest into a fury rage of wanting to ride the damn thing. After fighting through the complete family portrait we decided to let him ride the damn thing just so we could finish the other poses.

All in all the pictures turned out ok.

I hope everyone is doing good!

Also, Scarlett, I got you something real good :P

Ughhhhhhhhhh

2005-12-05T11:24:00.000-05:00

Leaving work and going christmas shopping....................... Someone shoot me.

A Nasty Topic

2005-12-02T09:34:00.000-05:00

Ok some of you will think that this is a pretty of the wall, and nasty ass topic, but oh well. It is something that some guy here at work has been talking about the past few days and I figured I would have to just talk about it due to it being well, uh weird.

This guy here at work said that he loves the feeling of a "good shit" almost as much as sex. He says that the first minute you are taking a nice healty dump is when it feels the best.

I would have to say there has been a time or two that I "may" agree to some extent , but Better than sex? WTF?

What do you guys think?

That Was Quick.....

2005-12-01T09:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it. I got my hair cut. Ya Ya, I am a bitch about that. But I think I had a breakthrough...... I found a place that cut my hair, great I might add in less than 8 minutes. I was really pumped about that.

Last night we put up our Christmas tree, and I am still itching from those damn fake needles on that piece of shit. After that we watched Rudolph, wich is always a tradition of mine from Christmas, I guess I am Old School but its all good.

I officially put up "Luda" for the winter, I was pretty sad at first but I know it's best so she doesn't get any salt, and breed rust on her sweet little body.

It's That Time Again

2005-11-29T08:30:00.000-05:00

I dread it so much, It's time for me once again to get a much hated haircut. The worst thing is my oldest needs one too and he hates them just as much as me.

I probably wont be posting too heavily until the end of the week due to still feeling the reprecussions of "The Move" here at work. But I did want to just drop a line.

Be good all!

Video: And This Guy Is A Pro?

2005-11-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

This video comes straight from a PBA championship. This guy makes a total ass of himself.

Interesting enough.

Click Here To View

Bloggin In The Dark

2005-11-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

Well the electric in my office is out, amazingly my PC must be hooked up to an emergency outlet cause I can still get on it.

The weather here has been weird as hell, last week it was like 30* and today is windy as hell and almost 70, I mean WTF?

Yesterday was a pretty fun day, I got to put up some of our christmas lights outside. It took a while but it looked great....that was until last night I went to see how they looked and one of the strands on the roof took a shit. So needless to say, I will be messing with those again.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

And Mandy, you have a great point! HAHA!

Wishing You Well

2005-11-23T10:05:00.000-05:00

Hey all, I have been a pretty bad blogger as of late with not posting anything that I really deem worthy to my blogging capabilities, and I am hoping that this will all change once the whole issue of the holidays, and moving into my new office works it's way out.

Anyway, I have a pretty big day planned tomorrow and am pretty excited to spend some time with my family. I hope you all have an excellent Thanksgiving and hope your time with your loved ones is well spent!

Peace,
#28

Not Too Bad

2005-11-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I got moved and I really love my office. It's very sophisticated and just has a business appeal to it. I guess I am just a f**kin high roller now.

This weekend was rough, as I got real tore down Saturday night, but it was fun, I got to see alot of people from school I hadn't seen in a while so that was good.

Last night I watched Alot Like Love, with Ashton Kutcher, is was a pretty decent movie.

Is it just me or is the Holiday feeling starting to go in full swing? I love Christmas, I just wish I was rich and could give everyone the gifts they deserve. Oh well, I am happy so that's all that matters.

I hope you all had a good weekend!

Tickling Elmo

2005-11-21T09:54:00.000-05:00

There is a factory in America which makes the "Tickle Me Elmo" toys. The
toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm.

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory, and she reports for
her first day promptly at 0800.

The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The
Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to Rant
about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow, and The
whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind
schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the Two
men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so
backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and
they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, Wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job Is to give Elmo two test tickles".

Moooooving

2005-11-16T08:39:00.000-05:00

Well, we finally got our new offices here at work, and I am just now starting to pack some of my shit up and move it to the new office. I will probably will be posting in spurts for the reast of the week, and then will be MIA for the end of the week next week due to the holidays.

I will try my best to post, however If I don't get a chance to talk to you I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Video: Magician Trick Some Cops

2005-11-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

This dude makes fools out of these cops.

Check it out here

Things That Piss Me Off

2005-11-14T08:37:00.000-05:00

#1: Religion Racism, is what I like to call it. It is when these total Jesus freaks look down on me for something minor as listening to rock music, you mean to tell me if I listen to rock music I am damned to hell? Give me a fu**ing break. I think that most of the Jesus freaks out there are too consumed and can't see how ignorant they look. I am not talking about the general Christians I am talking about the ones that take it to extremes.

#2: Older drivers, You know the ones. The little old later that just happens to be on your route to work at the same time every morning, and goes 40 in a 55 MPH zone. Then she gets on the interstate and does 50, I mean WTF, get off the road!

#3: Rude old people, this happened to me this weekend, we had a waitress that was in her 70's and you could tell she just loathed her job and was a total ass about it. When another customer asked if she could sit closer to the buffet due to her son having a wheelchair, the waitress said " good god, why can't you just sit here" Now thats customer service!

#4: Fair weather fans, I am a HUGE football fan, I hate when people talk shit about my teams when they are doing bad, and when they start doing good, there like man so and so are kicking some serious ass this year. Fu** Off!

#5: Political Blogs, Nuff said!

#6: People that think they are somebody, I deal with the public alot, and some people just want me to cancel other appointment so I can cater to them, Ya ok asshole how about you just take what you can get?

#7: Fakes, I work with some, It is very political here, and someone will be your friend to get what they need then turn around and talk shit about you, they don't do this to me, due to the fact I tell them how it is before they try to "act" friendly.

#8: My Mom in one of her "moods". Nuff said.

#9: When people ask me to take them home from a bar cause they had too much to drink, but when I need a ride, they are nowhere to be found..... assholes.

#10: People that post bullshit in comments sections of blogs, if you can't say anything nice, DON'T say it!

The Little Fly

2005-11-10T09:32:00.000-05:00

There once was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn one day when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate ... and ate ... and then ... she ate some more!

Finally she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas, she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.

She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.

She had found a solution! The little fly realized if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again. So, she, painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.

Alas, she dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor.

The moral to this sad story? Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.

The Aftermath

2005-11-10T09:23:00.000-05:00

Well I am pleased to say that my little man is feeling a ton better! However I only have a few and I was wanting to spend some time posting some funny links so this post will be short. I hope to have some funny stuff up shortly.

The Itchy And Scratchy Show....

2005-11-09T10:58:00.000-05:00

Well last night was ummmm well to say the least interesting....

After i got home from work, I decided to try and get in the movie Crash, in my "theater" before The Amazing Race came on. This was interupted when J spotted some abnormal activity on Clay, my oldest son's skin. He had some weird ass reddish bumps that were almost liek a blister.

After trailing into his room to check him out, I seen that he had 3-4 of them on different spots of his body, then I decided to get some anti-itch cream on them and let him finish his Charlie And The Chocolate Factory DVD.

After, checking on him again about a half hour later he had about 10-15 more all over him. Thats when J decided that she would take him to the emergency room. Now seeing that God love to smite me in times of crisis like this, J tries to start the Blazer and there is no power. The battery had taken a shit.

So after calling my Mom to have her give J and Clay a ride to the ER, I watched Amazing Race. Then they called to say it was just an allergic reaction to something and it should go away. No more was thought about it until this morning I woke up to find him COVERED in the hives. Needless to say he went to the doctor today, and they want us to keep a close eye on him

We think it is from us removing wallpaper border in his room, he must be allergic to the glue, it's the only thing we can think of. Anyway here are some pics of his "hives".

Nasty shit, I feel so sorry for him.

My Little Theater

2005-11-08T08:15:00.000-05:00

So last night I was damn bored as I had nothing to do since J was watching a couple of her shows. I had some movies that I wanted to watch, but the DVD player in our bedroom took a shit. That when I decided to see how it was to watch a movie on my PC. Ill tell you what, after about five minutes of watching Lords Of Dogtown on my 17" LCD, I was hooked, I bet I will be watching more movies there in my own seclusion.

Now about Lords Of Dogtown, you must check this movie out. It is based on a true story about some rug rat surfers turning into skate idols. Its a kick ass movie and I give it 4 1/2 out of 5 stars. I think the best performance in the movie is by Heath Ledger
He submerges himself into the character so much it's unreal, and on the special features section you can see the real guy he plays, and Heath talks just like him in the movie.

I highly suggest that you check this movie out, its a fun one to watch!

Picture: Do You See What I See?

2005-11-07T09:28:00.000-05:00

The Windy CIty?

2005-11-07T09:16:00.000-05:00

This weekend was a well rested weekend. I got to finally listen to my first Clinton Massie football game, which was a playoff game. Clinton Massie was the highschool I graduauted from. They pulled out a great win, and play a tough team the coming weekend.

I also got to witness both my favorite NFL teams win this weekend, the Falcons beat Miami, and the Bengals handed it to Baltimore, to improve to 7-2 for the first time since '88.

We also moved the kids rooms around last night, that way Clay has more room now, due to him getting a computer for christmas this year. Isn't it amazing that a 4 year old can completley work his way around on a computer? I think it is.

It's been windy as hell here the last few days, and I seen that there was a bad tornado iin Indiana, and Kentucky this weekend. I hate to see that.

Well I hope you all had a great weekend!!

All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun

2005-11-04T09:46:00.000-05:00

Isn't it said that my title is actually the name of a Sheryl Crow song? Oh well she's hot.

Not much going on today, or last night for that matter. I really want to do something fun tonight afte rthe week of Mother-in-Law hell. I could use a few drinks. I would really like to go to a fun bar, but I don't wanna drive. Therefor I dunno what the hell I will end up getting into this evening.

Oh well just as long as I do something!

I hope you all have a GREAT weekend!!

HNT #3

2005-11-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, still nothing risque, due to once again me being afraid to make you sick......................

HAPPY HNT!!!!

Anyone Have Any Tranquilizers?

2005-11-03T08:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, not many of you know that my Mother-in-Law lives at the end of our road. It's not as bad as you may think, due to the fact I just don't go down there too much, and it saves me on long distance with J calling her 5-8 times a day.

Anyway on to the subject at hand. About a month ago she decided to turn in her leased car in order to "save some money", and then get a cheaper car. Well, obviously her saving money meant that I bend over pull down my pants and take it in the ass.....What's worse? NO LUBE! When I say I am getting f**ked I mean that she volunteers me to take her ass to work everyday. This was a thing that I was willing to fight, but I lost Obviously.

So it's been like three weeks, and 4 fuel ups later and she is STILL riding with me EVERY f**king day. What really pisses me off is that I have only gotten $15 for gas, and she shows NO interest in getting this cheaper car. So in all reality she is saving a shitload of money, and I am the one that suffers. Bullshit I say.

I would really like to get some tranquilizers to put her down just for 15 minutes during the ride to work. It will be 7AM and I am still waking up and she doesn't stop asking me like 50-60 questions while I contemplate driving my car into oncoming traffic.

I guess I will just have to deal, but damn it's getting aggravating!

You Don't Have To Hurry

2005-11-02T08:32:00.000-05:00

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach.

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay."

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, whatcha gonna do in Tampa?"

“Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge chest out for dinner..... Then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and make love to her big time all night."

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a crap first."

Video: Barber From Hell Scare Tactics

2005-11-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

This video is another classic from Scare Tactics. This kid was definitely crying. He tries to act cool after his friend comes in. This is a killer video and a must see!

Click Here To View

Tackle? What Are You Talking About

2005-10-31T10:23:00.000-05:00

This weekend was pretty good, went to a couple Halloween parties this weekend, which one was my Mom and Dad's. It was pretty good to have the whole family together again.

Last night I got acall from one of my good friends asking if I wanted to play some tackle football, of course I cannot resist football in any shape or form so I decided to go. It was in WIlmington at the local park. I am really glad I decided to play for two rasons. OPne being softball is over and I needed a good workout, and two I tore it up. The first game I had 2 recieving touchdowns and one rushing. Then the second game I took over at QB and ran our offense like a fine tuned machine. I threw for 7 touchdowns, and ran for one, with NO interceptions. That felt good as whn I was in school I was too "big" to QB or run the ball. If those coaches could have seen me last night lol.

I am sore as hell today though and I think I may have broken my pinky, oh well it was fun!

Anyways, I hope you all had a great weekend!

The Sailor and the Pirate

2005-10-28T08:50:00.000-05:00

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg leg?"

The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off."

"Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

"Ahhhh..." mused the pirate. "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."

"Zounds!" remarked the sailor. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well..." said the pirate, "It was me first day with the hook...."

Video: Now This Chicks Boobs Are Hot! (Literally)

2005-10-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

This has to be the dumbest chick I have ever seen. How f**king stupid can you be?

Click here to view

Yes, Your Still My Baby................

2005-10-26T13:42:00.000-05:00

Well a sad sad time has come this year. It's getting colder and it won't be too much longer before the first snowfall blesses us with it's presence (SARCASM), and then the dreaded salt will start being piled onto our roads and highways. This is bad news for one reason. I will have to put LUDA away until the weather permits otherwise.

As some of you already know, LUDA is my 1992 Prelude. I love her and the attention she grabs as I am rolling down the Interstate. Anyways, I figured I have to post her one more time for good measure.

MY BABY

Caption Contest #2 Winners!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-26T11:46:00.000-05:00

Winning caption submitted by: Roxi

Winning caption submitted by: Ruby

Winning caption submitted by: Guppyman

NOTICE: Please click on pictures to see captions the best.

Thanks to all that competed!!

I Know It's Amazing.............

2005-10-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

I actually ahve been watching some tv as of late... I know it's sad. But I did find a new show I love. It's Amazing Race. After watching it the past three weeks I have became pretty hooked. This season is the Family edition and it's pretty fun watching these families compete. Some are stronger than others and I already have a favorite.

My favorite team is the Linz family, for two reasons, they are from Cincinnati, and they are huge Bengals fans. I hope that they win, or the Gaghan family. There little girl has some serious heart and is only 9 years old. She has me laughing about every episode. If you get the chance watch it next Tuesday!

Video: Beer Chug Gone Bad

2005-10-25T08:38:00.000-05:00

This guy starts off thinking he is a bad ass... Then he gets owned. Remember NEVER drink old beer.

Click here to view

Video: And You Thought YOU Were Having A Bad Day

2005-10-25T08:23:00.000-05:00

This lady is having a VERY bad day. Make sure you check this one out.

Click here to view

Bar Fights

2005-10-24T11:40:00.000-05:00

A few weekends ago I had to go to a benefit at a bar about two minutes from my house. It was for a guy that had wrecked his bike and was in pretty bad shape, and they were trying to raise money in order for him to be able to afford his doctor bills.

Upon arrival it was pretty dead, but it livened up after my uncle introduced me to his friend that had around 10 quarts of high potency moonshine. Needless to say after about 5-6 swigs of the burning eshophgous rotting stuff I was BLITZED.

As we were all torn down we had the idea of moving our drunken stupor to a bar about 15 mins away in Wilmington. Upon arrival this bar was f**kin hoppin, tons of people, beer, and fun. After about 6 more beers I heard the music stop and the DJ yelling "fight on the dance floor". At that point I knew we were in for a show.

Actually there wasn't much of a show, one guy hit another with a beer bottle on the head and it was lights out so to speak. Then after that I two guys started a yelling match that ended when one of them got scared, and the other was glad he was. All in all it was pretty funny.

I have seen some pretty funny bar fights, and what's even funnier 99.9% are over a woman. HA!

Are You A Bloggin Hottie?

2005-10-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

I decided to give one of my new blogging friends a plug. If you have extra time check him out.

He is just starting out his blog and is looking for some new readers to build it up.

He is committed to bringing you the hottest ladies in the blogging community, and giving them some exposure to their blog.

Make sure you check him out over at Bloggin Hotties for me I would appreciate it greatly. Also if you would like to submit your self or someone you know leave him a comment and they may be the Hottie Of The Day!!

Brush Them Bastards!

2005-10-21T08:51:00.000-05:00

Teeth...... The wonderful gift we have been given that lets us grind all of our food into a mushy pulp to keep us from having to digest large lumps of food matter.

Ok, on to my point. I have a HUGE thing about teeth, a fetish if you will. When someone talks to me, I look at there teeth, nothing else. It's a weird thing I do but I can't help it. It drive me nuts when someone's teeth are not straight but they sometimes can't really help that.

Now on the other hand you have these nasty f**ks that walk around with huge cavities in the front of there grill, and you KNOW that it's from them not having good hygiene.

For instance there is a guy here at work, his grill is HIT! I mean around 98% of his front teeth are just ate up with blackness, it's absolutely grotesque. What's worse is are insurance is excellent... Go get you grill fixed bitch!

what's even worse is I absolutely MELT over a girl that wears braces. Isn't that freaky? When me and J were dating she had braces and I begged her for a week before she was to have them taken off to keep them. It's weird I LOVE chicks with braces...... That's hot.

Caption Fun #2!!!

2005-10-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

NOTICE: Due to the lack of many entries this post will be bumped dow, yet I will still be accepting entries until MONDAY OCTOBER 24th at 12:00 PM EST Thank You!

This is something that I done last month to have the readers of this blog have some fun. I am going to post three different pictures and would love for you to add a caption for each one if possible. If you do a caption please start with picture number then the caption. You can enter a total TWO times so make em good, post em early and often!!! I will pick the best one for each picture, on Friday Afternoon, and link to the winners. GOOD LUCK!!!

Picture #1

Picture #2

Picture #3

Happy HNT #2!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-20T09:54:00.000-05:00

Ok so I am not going to be too original, I decided not to show you anything exciting, due to two things..... not making you sick, and well I guess there is only one reason :P

Anyway here is my eye.........

Rented Out

2005-10-20T09:31:00.000-05:00

As most of you in the blogging community already know about the new addition to Blog Explosion being it's Rent My Blog section.

I have been a contributor since it's beta release and would suggest you try it out!

Anyway we have a new friend to our blog, and I would LOVE for you all to give him some love by checking him out by clicking on his link to the left side of the page. His blog is Haunted House Dressing (Don't ask me about the name, cause I sure don't get it) but anyway, he has alot of free short stories, books, as well as movie and game recommendations. So be sure to check him out.

I said DO IT! Please.................

Goodness....... Whats That Horrible Smell?

2005-10-19T08:08:00.000-05:00

As long as I can remember I have always had one question, or unexplainable thing that I still have never figured out. Wanna know what it is? Ok you asked for it........(If you didnt then skip this post)

Some of you may find this gross, nasty, or utterly amusing. I have never understood the fact that when your around someone and the let out a nice little fart that reaks to high heaven it makes you just wanna throw up, and when you fart or atleast when I doo anyway I don't mind the smell. Is it due to the fact that you know where your fart came from? Yes, I know I am ate up no need to tell me.

Now on another bodily function.....Burps. They are f**king nasty all around. There is a guy here at work that does the silent burp shit all the time, then blows the nasty ass stench from his pie hole, and that shit stinks! Hell I dont even like the smell of my own burps.

All in all this is the question I have never found an answer to.

Picture: A Priceless Wedding

2005-10-18T07:44:00.000-05:00

Beautiful Dress.................$200

Perfect Hair Styling.............$85

Manicure..........$35

Catching the Bouquet at your best friends wedding as "All hell breaks loose"
...................PRICELESS

Oh How I Love My Southpark

2005-10-18T07:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, thank you lord, thank you sooo very much. I am very gratful of the fact you have blessed me with a round chubby little bastard from South Park Colorado. If it was not for this little man, I do not think I would be able to laugh so much, or bug people in my office as I try to mock him.

Anyways, back to you guys. Yes all two of you. I love my DVR it comes in so damn handy. See J watches like 20 or so different shows during the week, and I don't get to watch any of mine....unlesss I record them to the DVR.

The best thing is I can set up a season pass on it, and record every episode, minus re-runs! Yes it is amazing. Right now I have season passes to SNL, Mad TV, Southpark, and House.

If none of you out there have experianced a DVR's features, go to your nearest electronic store and have them show you a demo......Trust me you will like!

Video: Lady Sitters

2005-10-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

Man this is one great idea! Hell, they have queer I for the straight guy right? So why not?

Anyways this is a good clip.....chk...chk...check it out!

Click here to view

Don't Be So Quick.................

2005-10-13T13:52:00.000-05:00

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a
party.After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at
a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics
and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate
ladder and now he's the president of the company.

He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line
Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride
and joy. He started working for a! big airline, and then went to flight
school to become a pilot.

Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the
majority of its assets.

He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best

universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire.

He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend
for his birthday:

A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. .What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love
him.

And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and
he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and
a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

Show Me Where You Live!!!

2005-10-13T07:39:00.000-05:00

I thought it would be fun to have all the readers of my blog to show me where they live. So if you have a free minute or so, give a shout out!

Click Here!

The Barber

2005-10-12T08:01:00.000-05:00

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house!"

A Boy, Old Man, And A Donkey............

2005-10-11T07:53:00.000-05:00

An old man and a young boy were traveling through their village with their

donkey. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the
old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed
positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that
little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk.

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when
they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying, "How awful to put
such a load on a poor donkey."

The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the
donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell
into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you may as well just kiss your ass goodbye.

Masterbation, The Root Of All Evil?

2005-10-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

So, I was driving the usual boring drive to work this morning, and was thinking about what to right about this morning after a long boring weekend.

So I decide to shed some light on my thoughts about what seems to be taboo among some people in our society, or atleast they act like it.

Anyway, I have gone through a few different accociations with masterbation in my life, When I was in Middle School, it was disgusting and gross, and other boys in my class would make fun of the ones who got caught or were rumored to have gotten caught, Yanking one off.

Then Highschool came, It was all different, guys throughout highschool didn't care who they told about there nightly wanking sessions. Hell I remember a few guys that would joke about who they thought of and shit, of course I wasn't involved in those discussions.

I will say that I have done my fair amount of "flogging the log" and I will have to say I see nothing wrong with it, and I am sure about 99% of the guys out there will tell you the same.

Now on to women, Ahhhh yess. Masterbation and women.... So fu**ing taboo. I think that I have only known one girl that openly admitted she did, that was awhile back, but most women are so scared to tell anyone that they "Double Click" there mouse. I would have to say, (this is just an opinion ladies) that I think EVERY woman likes to get her own rocks off. And if they told me they didnt, then there lying.

Anyways, thats my conclusion. Masterbation is cool by me.

I Need Your Help!!!!!

2005-10-06T14:09:00.000-05:00

Hey all, I know this is pretty cheesy, but I could use your help! See, back in April some, jackass spilled his Gatorade on my Ipod, needless to say it's fried. Therefore I decided to try and get a FREE IPOD NANO from this site. It actually works, NO bullshit!

There are only two things you need to do to get one shipped to your home free. Complete one offer. Most offrs require you sign up, but you can cancel after you have recieved your credit. I chose to do the Blockbuster Online and I already recieved my credit and cancled my Membership with them. It's pretty easy, with a little time. Then all you have to do is get 5 friends to complete an offer. This could be a CHEAP Christmas gift for you!

If any of you are totally cool, (I hate asking for favors) enough to do this for me, I will forever owe you one, and will do anything you ask!!!! PLEASE HELP!!!

To sign up just click HERE.

I have also posted the NANO's Description below.

iPod nano Features

Holds up to 1,000 songs and full-color album art
Only 3.5 x 1.6 x 0.27 inches and 1.5 ounces
Bright 1.5-inch color LCD display
Up to 14 hours of battery life⁽¹⁾
Apple Click Wheel
Charges and syncs via USB
Accessory-compatible Dock connector
Completely skip-free playback
Works with Mac OS X or Windows 2000/XP
Plays music, podcasts and audiobooks
Holds up to 25,000 photos⁽²⁾
Syncs contacts, calendars and to-do lists

P.S. If you guys help me out This will be the last time I EVER ask for favors!!!

Happy HNT !!!!!!!

2005-10-06T12:36:00.000-05:00

Well it looks as this shit has swept the blogging community, so I guess my dumbass will hop on the bandwagon as well. For those of you that have no clue what HNT is, check out the link below.

So with the limited time I have I will be posting a version of a pic some of you have seen before, but next week I will be anew!

Half-Nekkid Thursday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing!!! GOD Loves Me!

2005-10-05T11:40:00.000-05:00

Louis Vuitton Anyone?

2005-10-05T09:19:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not having any normal entries, but I have been pretty busy lately, and cannot post from home any longer due to my being on dialup for the time being :(

I am now asking for some help from my readers out there. I figure maybe some of you know a bit about Louis Vuitton stuff. I have a Vintage LV Handbag/Purse that I am selling on ebay, and I CANNOT find one like it on ebay. If any of you know anything about what style mine is or any information for that matter, PLEASE let me know. I have posted a few pictures below.

If you would like to check out the auction CLICK HERE.

Thanks All!!

Video: Ghostly Encountered Car Ad

2005-10-04T12:49:00.000-05:00

This is a car advertisement from Great Britain. When they finished
filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the
side
of the car, like a ghostly white mist. They found out that a person
had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot.

The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly
phenomenon. Watch the front end of the car as it clears the trees in
the middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing in
front of the car then following it along the road....Spooky!

Is it a ghost, or is it simply mist? You decide. If you listen to
the ad, you'll even hear the cameraman whispering in the background
about it near the end of the commercial.

A little creepy but pretty cool!
Click Here To View

Trials Of Dating In 1959

2005-10-04T09:37:00.000-05:00

It's the summer of 1959 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo.

When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?"

He does, and Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he stammers "Really?"

"Sure," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother:

"Dammit, Mom! Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"

Trials Of Marriage

2005-10-03T09:13:00.000-05:00

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in
front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from is coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when

we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and
sensitive. "Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making
love?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my

face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail

for 20 years?'"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said......"I would have gotten
out today."

Video: I Can't Dance

2005-09-30T08:42:00.000-05:00

This is a killer complitation of people falling. Very well done video. This should give you some good laughs.

Click here to view

Video: Meteor Strike Caught On Video

2005-09-30T08:39:00.000-05:00

I don't know if this is actually real, but it is an amazing video. this is a MUST see. I replayed it back like 20 times.... That baby was SMOKIN!

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Video: Steve-O Drunk On Adam Carolla Show

2005-09-30T08:06:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night Adam had Steve-O from Jackass on there set. Then the dumbasses decided to let him have a few drinks before he went on the set......MISTAKE!

Problem is that Steve-O is a bigger idiot drunk!

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Seasons Are Amazing

2005-09-30T07:57:00.000-05:00

Waking up this morning I noticed something..... It was chilly outside, Very chilly. I love it though, It brings back fun memories in my past of the Autumn season. Autumn has to be me favorite time of the year. I think most of this is due to football, the general feel of the weather, and Haunted houses. I love me some haunted houses.

Now that I think about it I need to get a night planned where we can hit up some haunted houses.

Last night went by quickly as the kids went to bed super early, and J went to the races. I decided to catch a couple South Park episodes I ahd stored on the DVR. Good god I love South Park, I need to start watching more of it. I just never have enough time it seems.

Anyway, It's Friday and I am beyond pumped about the fact that it is. I am so ready for Sunday it's crazy, but I am sure tonight and Saturday will ahve there own high points. We will see. I hope all of you have a great weekend!!!

Funny Wedding Announcements...

2005-09-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

I found these in my email inbox earlier this morning and decide to add my own captions, what ya think?

"I can't wait till this wedding is over so I can......."

"Awww Little Lucie, and Little Harry's wedding is this weekend..."

"On our first date I decided to just........"

"They say if she stops putting out I am gonna have an..........."

"When I first laid my eyes on her I knew my........."

"I already......"

Today Is The Worst

2005-09-29T08:10:00.000-05:00

Yes it's my most dreaded day of the month. Two horrible things have to be done around this time each month. My accounting stuff at work, and then paying my house payment. Uck.... Trust me it blows.

Anyway, I think I need a drink, not my usual bud light either. I need something rough, hell make it a double. The funny thing is I will probably be feeling better once I get it done, but it's just a lack of motivation. I think worrying causes me to be lazy, or a better word is it causes me to procrastinate.

I am soo ready for the weekend, I have front row tickets for the Bengals Vs. Texans game. If you happen to be watching the game keep an eye out for me, as in the past when I have sat in the front row I was on TV each time.

Well I guess I will get this dreaded shit done.

Video: The Fainting Fainters

2005-09-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

This is a well put together compilation of fainters. Why is is most are at weddings? Could there be something to that? Some of these people take some pretty good spills.

Click here to view

Jailhouse Boobies

2005-09-28T08:38:00.000-05:00

I guess I need to start out by saying sorry for not posting yesterday, I was quite busy and couldn't get it done.

Last night was my last two Softball games of the year... I am totally bummed about that. I did do pretty well last night so that was good. Also, I got recruited! Yes I got recruited by a good team. Next year I will be playing for a state qualifying team! I am so pumped.

I also watched The Longest Yard about 3 times this week. I love that movie. If you havent seen it, go rent it or buy it NOW, you will not be dissapointed. It is one of the funniest movies I have seen since , well Without A Paddle. Anyways trust me on this, it's a killer flick.

Tomorrow is my dreaded end of the month bullshit day, I am totally dreading it, but hey what do ya do?

It looks as if Blogger's picture shit is working again......Finally.

Video: Never Throw Scissors

2005-09-26T09:30:00.000-05:00

This kid is one tough son of a bitch. I bet that shit hurt something awful, Not to mention nasty looking as they hang out of his arm.

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Video: Close Call

2005-09-26T09:19:00.000-05:00

I think this dude had to change his shorts afterwards. I know I would have.

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You Are Such A F**king Wino

2005-09-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

Hello again friends, I hope you all had a great weekend! Mine was'nt too bad. I went to the Wine Festival in Morrow Ohio Saturday with Travis. It was a pretty good time, until I drank a bottle of champagne, and a bottle of wine. Let me tell you champagne will get you one crazy ass buzz on. All in all it was a good time.

I am tired a fuck today....see I was so tired I didnt censor that shit. Oh well Ill post some shit for you guys to check out. I need sleep. BAD

Great, it looks like bloggers picture shit is down, and I had to do it manually...... fucking shit.